The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
