He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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