Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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