so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
