I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
