My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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