he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Even my vagina gasped.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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