why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
