you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
