the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
