Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
