Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
