You smell like stripper and shame
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Someone signed my nipple.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize