I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
