Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize