garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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