1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
one two three fourrrrnication!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
