Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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