I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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