I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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