Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
