Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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