I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
