1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
