You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
