hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
