I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have post one night stand depression
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
