I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
babies were throwing up all over the place
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
