She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
birth control should be required to get into college
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
