i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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