Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
