so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
