new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize