K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
