Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so let's talk penis.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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