You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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