so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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