Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
