we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
