That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
