College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
