You're completely useless in the revolution.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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