so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
