I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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