Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
