She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
