I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dear god my vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
