i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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