Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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