I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
