We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
