Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
