Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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