a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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