Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
