she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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