As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I lost the right to judge tonight
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
