Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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