should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
