tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
