I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
