better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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