it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My feet surprised me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
